Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about relationships/marriages mostly focusing on intercultural ones.
As what I’ve read made me laugh, think deep, curious, and many other adjectives and verbs which can be put in this sentence, I thought it’s now my turn to give you an idea about how the things are like in a Turkish wife & German husband life… I can easily summarize our situation as “chameleons”.
Some differences I’ll list here may not be totally due to the culture, but anyways I’ll write as it comes through. You may grab it both for the transition phases to be faced within a marriage, or adaptational motives of an intercultural relationship. And of course we have many similarities with my husband too, but I find the other side much more interesting to be shared.
I’ll not write about the reasons (such as our previous life styles, how I was grown up in Turkey -although was born and lived all my previous life in “modern” Istanbul-, which routines/beliefs/perceptions/”limitations” -here I’m talking unfortunately about not having many resources in my country like what they have in Germany- for many things we have over there, etc.) hidden behind our differences. If you get curious about what I tried to tell in this post, “hidden under the words”, just drop me a line.
Here is our list of differences:
- It’s very easy for my husband to start a day very active early in the morning while I usually beg in the bed only for an additional 5 minutes of sleep…
- It’s also very easy for him to fall asleep when he goes to bed! It would not take his 10 minutes to meet with sleep if we’re not talking about something, watching something or “doing” something! 🙂 On the other side, it would take “at least” 20 minutes of mine to reach that level of relaxation…
- He uses the shower gel first and then the shampoo, despite that I first wash my hair and then cleanse my body…
- Going on with the shower area… The water temperature that I’m used to is hot for him, and for me he’s most of the time taking a cold shower!
- While in Turkey and in many other countries, many people (including me) find the lately practice of Germany for nuclear power plants (you may find an article about this subject here) environment friendly, he has kind of a different opinion as it led to a huge increase in the electricity prices through out his country…
- Anyway, let’s go back to daily life to keep the post still funny enough… Going on with temperature issues, he likes his coffee/tea (any kind of “hot” drinks) in a “warm” format. To make it more clear; as we somehow (subconsciously) have developped a habit for us to use only one glass/cup for whatever we drink in the house for quite a long time, he at least has to wait for 3 minutes before he has his first sip of morning coffee… Poor him!
- He likes his meat “medium” where it actually still looks a bit horrible to me when all the blood is swimming in the plate, I should admit I’m now much more used to the new taste. If someone would tell me I would eat “medium” cooked meat 5 years back, I would just take it as a “joke”!
- Some of you may already know about my “sauna etiquette” transition if you read my Extreme Experiences in Belgrade#1 post before. What to do! He’s German, he likes to get lazy in the sauna, so do I… It’s also quite interesting that according to WordPress statistics, many people find my blog because of that post after searching the naked sauna dilemma on Google! So, better that you check it out as well! 🙂
- He’s much more talkative than me when it comes to the point of “speaking” with a VIP in a company we are employed by (actually “were”, not anymore – I still need to write the post about how I met him) , where I feel much more confident while I’m writing to that person. He may easily open a topic to chat about from daily life, while my conversation with those people would mostly be “only” about business…
- Another thing about our communication preferences… He’s not a “facebook man” at all. Yes, he’s there, but maybe only once in a month to accept the friendship requests where I’m using it for sure two-three times a day. He prefers visiting his close friends or going out for a dinner whenever he finds time for it, instead of “liking the photos” or “commenting on status updates” where I think with most of mine, I can easily survive only staying as “facebook friends” until the end of my life.
- He is very good in many sports… He can swim in any styles, he can run for a long time, he is so damn good on snowboard, he could easily ride a bike all day long without any complaints if he was a stay at home husband… Trust me I can add even more on his list of sports skills but now we’ll go on with my lacking areas which I’m still trying to develop; I could learn “how to breathe out under the water” only after getting married to him… I found myself on a bike after a “twenty years” of break, and no need to tell about the size difference of those two bikes under me… And lastly (proudly as well), I made my first humble slide downs on a snowboard starting as of 2011 winter!
- He’s a TV teletext master! This is the tool he uses at least 3-4 times a day to keep himself updated about what’s going on around the world… He does not follow up any newspapers where I feel strange if I don’t read my online newspaper in the morning that day.
- He’s not interested in any religious subjects at all where I always find it interesting to talk about, especially when I can gain some knowledge about any practices of any religions. I’m sorry that I don’t want to share our religious “labels” given by our countries and what “we actually believe in” here in this post, I hope you’ll have your kind understanding for it.
These are the differences we have which came to my mind without any prior preparation to write about.
How about you over there? What kind of “chameleon” experiences you’ve had during your marriage/relationships whether it’s an intercultural one or not?
By the way, did I tell you? I love my husband more than anything on this world!